Anger, Anxiety, Overwhelm - How to Use Your Emotions Instead of Being Used by Them
We are taught to either bottle our emotions or let them spill out. Neither works well in the long run. Emotions like anger, anxiety, and overwhelm can feel like they control us, but they can also become powerful tools if we learn how to work with them.
Your emotions are not the enemy. They are signals. The question is whether you will listen to what they are trying to tell you, or let them run the show.
A Conversation That Changed My Thinking
A client came to me after a high-stakes meeting had gone badly. He admitted he had snapped at a colleague. His anger was still simmering when we met. Instead of telling him to calm down, I asked him to unpack what the anger was about.
It turned out the real issue was that he felt ignored and undervalued. The anger was simply the surface. Once he saw that, he was able to address the root problem instead of staying stuck in frustration.
As psychologist Susan David, author of Emotional Agility, says: “Emotions are data, not directives.” You do not have to act on every emotion, but you can use the information they give you to make better choices.
Make it stand out
How to Use Your Emotions to Your Advantage
1. Pause and name it.
Recognising an emotion instantly gives you a bit of distance from it. Don't say "I am angry." Say "I notice anger." That simple shift gives you power back.
2. Ask what it is pointing to.
Emotions often highlight a need, value, or boundary that is being crossed. Is your anger a signal that you feel undervalued? Is your anxiety a sign that you need more information? Your emotions are your brain’s way of saying "pay attention here."
3. Choose your response deliberately.
Decide what action aligns with your values rather than reacting on autopilot. You have a choice. You can react from a place of frustration, or you can choose a response that is aligned with your purpose and values.
4. Reflect afterward.
Notice how acting from awareness changes the outcome compared to reacting from impulse. This helps you build a new, more powerful habit.
Why This Matters in High-Pressure Environments
When pressure is high, emotions intensify. You can't avoid them. Using them well can mean the difference between a breakdown in trust and a breakthrough in understanding.
This is what it means to lead with heart. To be human, but to own your mindset.
If you are a high-achieving leader or professional looking for a keynote speaker who goes beyond surface-level motivation and delivers insight, energy, and real transformation, let’s talk.
I coach leaders and professionals to channel their emotions into fuel for performance and resilience in demanding environments.
